


Revenge!Fic

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [34]
Category: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: A Wild Sterek Appears!, Bondage, Butt Plugs, Cas is a Perv, Crack, Drabble, Gabriel being an Ass, Humor, M/M, Nipple Clamps, Pie, Revenge, STDs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 15:37:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the shocking sequel to 'They Discover Fanfiction' (the previous fic in this series) our heroes must face their most trying trial yet.  In the form of Cas being a bit of a dick.  But with a very large dick.  Also, Dean does not get any pie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Dean:** Nooooooooooooooo!

**Sam:** I am so sorry, Dean. I would give you some of this pie if I could. And that salad does look really good.

**Dean:** It has lettuce in it. You know how I feel about lettuce.

**Sam:** Well, you know how I feel about pecan pie. It’s all slimy and it makes my throat itch.

**Dean:** Pecan pie is my favorite! Why? WHY GOD!?! Who would do this to us?!?

**Sam:** Tie us up and force us to eat only our brother’s favorite food? It is pretty diabolical. Actually, it sounds a lot like that demon Cas was trying to warn us about before we took him for granted and walked out on him.

**Dean:** Oh, how I wish I had appreciated that beautiful angel while I could. If only I had not overlooked his heavenly skin and perfect abs, and beautiful globes of…

**Sam:** *to the sky* Don’t you think this is a little heavy handed, Cas? I apologized, and you know Dean is sorry, he’s just bad at talking about his feelings!

**Dean:** Aaaaaaah! Where did that giant butt plug come from?

**Sam:** Probably the same place as these nipple clamps. Could you please apologize?

**Dean:** *to the sky* Cas! I’m sorry I made fun of your fanfic!  To tell the truth, I can’t stop thinking about that AU where we were in space and that planet’s atmosphere made us need to have really kinky sex with the native equivalent of a…

**Sam:** *over a very detailed description* Yeah, that one really sticks with you. Like herpes.

**Gabriel:** *appearing* Aw, Sour-Patch-Sam. You know the herpes I give you is perfectly curable. When I choose to cure it.

**Dean:** What are you doing here?

**Gabriel:** Short answer? I’m giving you both painful venereal diseases.

**Sam:** And the long answer? …oh, that really itches.

**Gabriel:** The long answer, Sam &M, is that I’m pretending to be a manifestation of the demon Cas warned you about. And I am here to tell you that these half-hearted apologies are not nearly enough to appease him. You must truly repent, or he will not be able to free you from the demon.

**Sam:** That’s insane. Can’t you just not do what he says?

**Gabriel:** Well, you two aren’t going to be doing much with your man parts for a while, so I don’t want to annoy my only chance of getting laid right now.

**Dean:** But you gave this to us! You can fix it! Oh my god, it burns!

**Gabriel:** Oh. Here’s a topical cream that should help with that.

*he snaps away*

**Sam:** Dean, you should probably wait to put that on your…

Dean: THE PAIN! OH SWEET MERCIFUL JESUS, THE PAIN!

**Sam:** …crotch, because I don’t really trust Gabriel.

**Gabriel:** *disembodied voice* Oops. That was the habenero rub I was using for dinner tonight. Oh well, I wasn’t supposed to give you any help anyway.

**Dean:** *whimpering* Why are you doing this, Cas? If you permanently damage our junk, who will you write porn about, huh?

*Sterek pops into existence*

**Derek:** What are we doing here?

**Stiles:** Dunno. Wow, dudes, I’m sorry for whatever is happening to your junk there.

**Dean:** *still in the fetal position* Who are you?

**Sam:** They are Sterek.


	2. Chapter 2

_Previously on Revenge!Fic…_

**Sam:**  They are Sterek.

_And now…_

*Dean looks at him in betrayed disbelief*

 **Sam:**  What? Who doesn’t ship Sterek? I mean, honestly! They’re adorable! And the sexual tension is like…I mean, there was this time in the pool when…

 **Derek:**  Right. Regardless of how cute a couple we are…

 **Stiles:**  …which is very. We are a very, very cute couple…

 **Derek:**  Shut up, Stiles. I still want to know why we’re here and who you are.

 **Sam:**  Sam and Dean Winchester.

 **Derek:**  Never heard of you.

 **Stiles:**  They’re on a different network.

 **Derek:**  Ah.

 **Sam:**  Yeah. And we’ve been captured by an evil demon and are being tortured.

 **Stiles:**  Oh cool! Is it a revenge fic?

 **Dean:**   It would…appear…so. Also…I’m pretty…sure the butt…plug…is sentient.

 **Sam:**  Yeah. The nipple clamps too. It’s surprisingly sensual.

 **Dean:**  I…knew you were….lying…about not liking…nipple clamps!

 **Sam:**  I wasn’t lyimmmf!

 **Derek** : That’s a cool gag. Looks a bit painful though.

 **Stiles:**  I’d be willing to experiment. And, on that note, we aren’t the ones being revenged upon, so we should probably get out of here.

 **Derek:**  Mhmm. Hey.  You guys gonna want this pie?

*Dean whimpers, Sam glares, Derek takes that as a yes. He takes the pie anyway.*

 **Stiles:**  See ya!

*they begin to walk away*

 **Derek:**  *holding out the pie* Sex?

 **Stiles:**  Yup! Take your pants off!

*Sterek leaves*

 **Cas:**  *appearing* Mmmm. I love Sterek…

 **Dean:**  Cas. We’re sorry. Please, please let us go.

 **Cas:**  Unfortunately, it is not that simple. The demon that took you placed you under these curses, and there is only one way to fix this.

 **Dean:**  Yeah?

 **Cas:**  Uh huh. And it involves my GIANT MAGICAL HEALING COCK!

*Sam and Dean both whimper*

 **Cas:**  And, of course, some apologizing afterwards. And more sexual favors. And I get to read you my latest fic. It’s about an orphan named Stiles who finds out on his eleventh birthday that…

 **Dean:**  We promise! We promise!

 **Cas:**  …werewolves are real. And he has to go to a magical school to learn about hunting them, and singing mash-ups of popular songs. But then he meets a handsome werewolf, and he begins to doubt the teachings of his headmaster and vocal coach, Mr. Schuster…

 **Sam:**  Aagghhf!

 **Dean:**  I agree with Sam. You can just leave us to the venereal diseases.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope. It may take some time for me to get to it, but I promise that anything you send, I will at least try to fill. :)


End file.
